


put the blame on VCR

by mars (deadbeatdad)



Category: RedLetterMedia RPF
Genre: Bad Flirting, Lightning Fast verse, M/M, Mike Looks At Jay, Mistaken Identity, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:55:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28062789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadbeatdad/pseuds/mars
Summary: Jay generally enjoys working at the radio station. He knows it’s not, like, exactly the field he’s trying to enter, but it keeps the lights on, so to speak, and he gets to talk about movies still, and at least it’s quiet.Or at least, it used to be.-self-indulgent mikejay radio au
Relationships: Mike/Jay
Comments: 7
Kudos: 19





	put the blame on VCR

**Author's Note:**

> idk where i’m going with this or what i'm doing in general but i <3 this small little community that refreshes the tag 50x a day <3 so here’s a really lighthearted (like straight people romcom type beat) lightning fast verse au where only mike works there and jay is a 2am radio host and uh? it’s them <3
> 
> title from video killed the radio star, duh >;)  
> chapter title from lana del rey bc i needed 2 humble myself 4 this

Jay generally enjoys working at the radio station. He knows it’s not, like, _exactly_ the field he’s trying to enter, but it keeps the lights on, so to speak, and he gets to talk about movies still, and at least it’s quiet. 

Or at least, it used to be.

—

“You can still have the midnight slot to talk movies, but management doesn’t want you to _just_ talk about them anymore. They said you should spice it up or something” Josh says.

 _Or something_. Jay wonders if this is meant to be some kind of punishment from the universe for getting a degree in a dying industry, only to then work in a field buried six feet deeper.

“How am I supposed to talk about movies if I can’t, y’know, _talk_ about the movies?” Jay grumbles.

“Consider it an exercise in creativity! You’ll break new ground by combing elements of the visual spectrum into the auditory world. Think of it like an experimental film that’s actually only made of audio” Josh says.

Jay rolls his eyes. “That sounds really, really dumb.”

“Well, it’s this, or nothing, my friend. Just try something new tonight, see where it goes. I’ll leave you to your,” Josh gestures to the tapes and DVDs strewn around the room, “ _films._ ”

Apparently, Jay decides, hell does exist, as the station has taken it upon themselves to task Jay with reformatting his entire show in the next hour or lose what has become his life for the past few years, which is depressing enough by itself.

What _The Jay Watch Project_ lacks in ad revenue, it makes up for in insightful commentary on films that deserve their own spotlight, even if it’s only on his not-a-podcast show.

Still.

It couldn’t _hurt_ , Jay supposes, to talk about a movie that more than five people actually saw, maybe take some calls… _And_ he could spend some time talking about B-fest next week.

Yeah. Maybe he could benefit from getting with the times and…mixing things up.

—

“...Star Wars is just a shittier version of Star Trek at this point” a put-upon deep voice growls.

Jay waits a beat. “Okay, _grandpa,_ got anything else you want to complain about before the nurse hears you up past bedtime?”

“......Well, since you asked so nicely, _Jay,_ I do have some other issues with your quote-unquote show” the voice responds with a lilt.

Jay cuts back, “Really. Do tell.”

“Yup. I have a list right here. Pen and paper. Item number one” and, oh god, it sounds like he’s actually smacking a clipboard, why does Jay do this to himself, “you claim to play music in between segments, and yet, all I heard was Oingo Boingo sounding” a pause, for emphasis apparently, “ _garbage._

“That _was_ Oingo Boingo _,_ dumbass,” Jay replies.

The voice tuts, “Uh-uh Jay, you know you’re not supposed to swear on the radio.”

Jay flusters, “And what makes you, nameless person who isn’t using their fake voice anymore, that calls into a small Milwaukee radio station at _midnight,_ the chief authority on both radio etiquette and music taste.” 

“You did, when you heard me do an old man voice and didn’t immediately hang up,” the voice states.

“You did an old man?” Jay repeats.

“No-“ the voice stumbles over his words, giggling softly.

Despite himself, Jay laughs too. “Because I don’t think we can air _that_ on the radio either.”

“Are you saying the radio station pulled the no homo card?”

“Clearly.”

“Well Jay! Add that to the list of improvements then!” he says with a flourish.

Jay hums noncommittally “Alright I’ll take that into consideration uh…Sir-“

“Plinkett,” the voice says, apropos of nothing.

Jay laughs, again, “What?”

“…You can call me Plinkett,” the line clicks off abruptly.

“Well….alright everybody, speaking of weirdos late at night, this Friday is B-Fest at Northwestern University! I highly recommend it if you are in the area, it should be a really fun 24 hours if you’re into that sort of thing. That’s it for me tonight, so here’s Oingo Boingo’s _Goodbye Goodbye_ especially for you Mister, er, Plinkett.”

Turning off the mic, Jay sighs and bends to reach his backpack from the floor, as he hears a knock at the studio door. Jack enters softly, “Hey Jay, don’t mind me I was just looking for my keys, I must’ve left them here.”

“Hey Jack. Oh…speaking of your keys, we’re still carpooling to B-Fest together, right?” Jay asks.

Jack stills. “Ooh, ahh, uhh, you see the thing is, well, I actually have to work Friday, you know, uh new management wanted me to sort the archives again. I’m really sorry buddy.”

He does sound legitimately apologetic so, “It’s alright Jack, it’s not your fault. You know, I’m curious as to who new management actually _is_ , since no one’s seemed to have met him yet” Jay says.

“You and me both amigo, anyways, I’ll catch you later,” Jack says, jingling his keys.

The soundproof door slams shut again. “Yea, see you later.”

—

Just his luck, _just his luck,_ that Jay’s car breaks down driving to work the next day. Not only will he have to make the drive tomorrow alone, since it seems like he’s the only living boy in Milwaukee and all his other friends rightfully stayed in Chicago, but there might not even _be_ a drive for him to make at this point. 

Jay fruitlessly tries the ignition, _again._ He hangs his head on the steering wheel, listening to the drone of the horn. His first thought is _this might as well be my life_. His second thought is-

There’s a knock at his window and a muffled, “Uhh…You okay in there?”

Jay startles and hits his head on the roof. “Fucking, ow, shit hell.” He finally looks to the source of his furthered misery and is greeted with the (admittedly, large) hand in question, which seems to be attached to an even larger man bending over his car.

Jay cranks the window down a millimeter. ”Yes, hi, hello, I am fine, thanks.”

“If you need to come inside,” the man gestures to the indiscrete building marked _Lightning Fast VCR_ a few feet away, ”and use the phone or something-“

“Why would I need to use a phone? I-“ Jay puts on a forced smile. “I have my cell phone right here, I’m good thanks” he finishes.

The man straightens back up and begins to back off. “Alright, message taken. It’s just awfully cold out here and,” the man pauses to look Jay up and down, then puts on an exaggerated Wisconsin accent. “And _yous smalls guys_ don’t do too well in the cold.”

 _Small?_ Jay’s teeth chatter, and if his car won’t start, neither will the heater. The man is already a few feet away so Jay strains through the small window gap, “Hey! Wait up a minute!”

After the terrible, embarrassing, no-good five seconds it takes to manually crank the window back up, Jay scrambles after him.

Still in that awful accent, the man says “Is it cold enough for ya?,” and, _oh, this is just awful,_ Jay has to look _up_ at him to sneer, “Yes. No. I just figured it would be good to see where the locals really like to hang.”

The man seems to take the jab in stride, tilting his head back slightly in a not-quite-laugh-laugh, which only makes Jay laugh back, unwillingly, of course. The man reaches the door and fumbles for his keys. “The name’s Mike by the way, since you asked.”

“Oh, my name’s Jay, sorry,” he pauses. “You know you didn’t exactly ask for my name either.” Jay trails after Mike, stomping his feet out extra hard on the welcome mat that reads _Beam Me In, Scotty._

“Mmmm…I guess we’re both terrible people then, would be the easiest way to say it,” Mike says as he shuts the door behind Jay and shrugs off a layer.

Jay fixes him a stare, while Mike moves to sit behind the counter, but then starts to look around the shop. _Is that real blood spatter on the walls?_ he starts to think.

“Did you actually need to borrow a phone or….?” Mike interrupts, riding the line between condescension and concern.

“Is that blood?” Jay blurts.

Mike looks appraisingly towards the wall, “that’s just prop blood leftover from Halloween... _prop_ ably”

Jay deadpans, “It’s February.”

Mike seems amused by this statement, but says nothing and looks at the computer screen. Jay takes his obnoxiously fake typing to mean _get on with it already then_ and calls Jack.

“I’m fine, Jack, A guy named Mike randomly came up to my car. Yup, it's definitely the Michael Myers and he is going to kill me. Uh-huh. I just don’t know when or if I’ll be in today. Actually, yea it would be great if you could come pick me up. Uh-huh. Yeah, I’ll send you my location.” After Jack, Jay calls the towing company, then walks closer to the counter.

Mike seems to ignore the playful murder accusation. “Your voice sounds familiar. Do I know you?”

“Oh!” Jay scratches the back of his neck, “Uh, no. Probably not. But I do, uh, run a movie review radio show on Wednesday nights. So, that’s where you might have heard me.”

“Oh really? What’s it called?”

Jay lets out a weak chuckle. “It’s called _The Jay Watch Project_ which is supposed to be like _The Blair Witch Project_ except, I’m Jay and I....watch...things,” Jay trails off, looking around the shop again (I _s that a gremlin arm?_ ).

Mike stares intently at him for a moment. Then, “Sounds more like Baywatch. Do you also run around in a red thong?”

Jay laughs. “Sure Mike, right after I go save some poor sucker from the beaches of Lake Milwaukee.”

Mike smirks, but doesn’t respond and just continues to look at him. Jay glances down at the array of broken VHS players sitting between them before finding his small-town manners once more. “Uh...thanks for inviting me in, my friend should be here in like two minutes, he was on his way to work too and the station’s not far from here.”

“Well, it wouldn’t be the city of brotherly love if I just left you out there” Mike responds.

“I think that’s Philadelphia, actually.”

Mike snorts, “Oh, well, whatever, I’m not from here.”

“Oh, so you _chose_ to live here, then? Me either but-” Jay is cut off by a honk from outside. They both look to the door, then back to each other.

“Hey-” 

“So-”

Mike smiles to the slight crook in his teeth, and Jay laughs a little, saying, “go ahead.”

“It’s uhh…company policy for you to leave your cell _and_ home number so we can get your VCR back to you, _lightning fast_.”

“Oh? It’s policy? Even when you aren’t fixing a VCR for me and I’m not a customer?”

“Yup,” Mike enunciates. “Just customer policy to provide good customer service.”

“Well, if it’s in the name of customer service then I guess I _have_ to leave my personal number” and Jay can’t believe he’s flirting with a man in a VCR repair shop of all places, but it feels so _natural_ that he can’t stop himself.

Jay glances up from scribbling his number down, only to find Mike’s heavy gaze. Jay smiles, “Alright, I’ll keep an ear out for my ringer, in case there’s an emergency VCR repair, of course.”

Mike raises his eyebrows a little and replies, “Of course.”

**Author's Note:**

> realizing this is just ppl talking and mike looking at jay while he laughs! but tbh that's literally what rlm is so...just staying true 2 the source material i guess >;) maybe this is slowburn maybe it's not? i think next (spoilers) is a lil road trip date 2 b fest? idk i just thought it's mike's turn to be the mpdg and i gotta do my finals now byyyye  
> say hi 2 me @thatsrightgay on tumbl


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